Tucker Carlson

I love women, but they're primitive. They're not hard to understand.

— Tucker Carlson

I think Michael Moore is loathsome, though, not because he dislikes Bush, but because he seems to dislike America.

— Tucker Carlson

Don't take a leak on my shoes and tell me it's raining.

— Tucker Carlson

STEWART: No, this [CrossFire], it's theater. Like, take this for example. How old are you?

— Tucker Carlson

Grover Norquist is a mean-spirited, humorless, dishonest little creep… an embarrassing anomaly, the leering, drunken uncle everyone else wishes would stay home… [He] is repulsive, granted, but there aren't nearly enough of him to start a purge trial."

— Tucker Carlson

Maybe in fact it was better to have Saddam in there. Maybe Saddam, as bad as he was-was not the worst we could get. Maybe chaos was the worst we could get. That's the truth.I mean, look, no matter how you feel about Bush, watching him speak is difficult. It's like— it's like watching a drunk man cross an icy street.

— Tucker Carlson

There may be countries worth invading, but I don't think we'll be invading them.The Republican Party of 2005 bears no resemblance to the Republican Party of 1994

— Tucker Carlson

From the 15 December 2005 edition of MSNBC's The Situation with Tucker Carlson:

— Tucker Carlson

But is diversity our strength? The less we have in common, the stronger we are? Is that true of families? Is it true in neighborhoods or businesses? Of course not. Then why is it true of America? Nobody knows. Nobody’s even allowed to ask the question.

— Tucker Carlson

I want to say to you — why don’t you go fuck yourself, you tiny brain — and I hope this gets picked up because you’re a moron, I tried to give you a hearing but you were too fucking annoying.

— Tucker Carlson

These are the people who write our movies and our sitcoms,we will never bow to the mob. Ever.

— Tucker Carlson

You’ve got to be honest about what it means to lead a country, it means killing people.

— Tucker Carlson

We noted at the beginning of this show that Ilhan Omar is trying to take this show off the air. Shut us up. Silence us. We want to reassure you that’s not going to happen. Why? Because we work at Fox News, and they’ve got our back, and we’re thankful for that.

— Tucker Carlson

If you were to assemble a list, a hierarchy of concerns, problems this country has, where would white supremacy be on the list? Right up there with Russia probably. It’s actually not a real problem in America. "White supremacy, that's the problem." This is a hoax, just like the Russia hoax. It's a conspiracy theory used to divide the country and keep a hold on power.

— Tucker Carlson

How exactly is diversity our strength?

— Tucker Carlson

I was up late last night yapping about the elections on CNN and up early this morning doing the same thing in my daughter's kindergarten class.

— Tucker Carlson

The unhappy truth is, learning is hard.

— Tucker Carlson