Toby Young

America thinks of itself as a meritocracy, so people have more respect for success and more contempt for failure.

— Toby Young

In Britain, by contrast, we still think that class plays a part in determining a person's life chances, so we're less inclined to celebrate success and less inclined to condemn failure. The upshot is that it's much easier to be a failure in Britain than it is in America.

— Toby Young

I've become a professional failure - in order to pay the mortgage I have to remain unemployed. Luckily, a disaster always seems to befall me at exactly the right moment.

— Toby Young

“Serious cleavage behind Ed Miliband’s head. Anyone know who it belongs to?”

— Toby Young

“What happened to [Claudia] Winkleman’s breasts? Put on some weight, girlie.”

— Toby Young

I swear, I didn't really go in thinking, 'I'll be the Simon Cowell' of 'Top Chef.' I was just used to being a judge on British food shows where people are much more outspoken and rather rude. That's the culture over here.

— Toby Young

Teachers complain a lot about how tough their job is. But, you know, the day begins in most schools at nine o'clock, ends at 3.30 P.M. They have six weeks' holiday during the summer, two weeks' holiday at Easter and at Christmas. Yes, they don't just work when they're at school, but even so, compared to a lot of other jobs, it's not that tough.

— Toby Young