The Tao of Steve

If you're out with this girl and you're even thinking about getting laid, you're finished. Because women can smell an agenda like shit on a shoe. - Dex

— The Tao of Steve

. . . when I'm hanging out with a woman, that's all I'm doing is hanging out—talking, listening. I'm not sitting there thinking about how to get in bed with her and this completely confuses them, because they're saying, "Wait a minute. I'm so much better looking than this guy. Isn't he attracted to me?" The basic principle: We pursue that which retreats from us. - Dex

— The Tao of Steve

Act like a woman can't join your club and she'll do almost anything to get in. - Friend of Dex's

— The Tao of Steve

Getting out of that category of friend is harder than getting out of Alcatraz. - Dex

— The Tao of Steve

You have to do something excellent in her presence thus demonstrating your sexual worthiness. - Dex

— The Tao of Steve

Don Giovanni slept with thousands of women because he was afraid he wouldn't be loved by one. - Syd

— The Tao of Steve

Have you ever noticed how at the beginning of a relationship, right, a guy will do just about anything with his girlfriend because just the thought of seeing her naked gets him excited about going to the opera. - Dex

— The Tao of Steve

Look chicks are like hunters, man. They want to bag a lion or a bear, something really hard to catch. And along comes Dave, you know, and you're like this affectionate little puppy. You're cute, but you're way too easy to catch and that bores them and with chicks, boredom equals death, man. You can't bore them. - Dex

— The Tao of Steve

Don't pretend. Just really let go of your desire. - Dex

— The Tao of Steve

I'm not looking for enlightenment, Dex. I'm looking for a girlfriend—that’s it. - Dave // It's all connected. - Dex

— The Tao of Steve

Doing stuff is overrated. Like Hitler. He did a lot. But don't we all wish he woulda just stayed home and gotten stoned? - Dex // Oh, I see. So you're only options are to get stoned or commit genocide? - Syd

— The Tao of Steve

And that takes us to Part III of the Tao of Steve, okay? Alright, after you've eliminated your desire, and after you've been excellent in her presence, then you must retreat. Okay? - Dex

— The Tao of Steve

Both men and women want to have sex. It's natural, except we're on different timetables. Women want to have sex, like, y'know, fifteen minutes after us, so alright, if you hold out for twenty she'll be chasing you for five. - Dex

— The Tao of Steve