Tallulah Bankhead

The cynic says "blessed is he who expecteth nothing, for he shall not be disappointed." I say "blessed is he who expecteth everything, for he can't always be disappointed."

— Tallulah Bankhead

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me.

— Tallulah Bankhead

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have the time.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I was raped in a driveway when I was eleven. … It was a terrible experience because we had all that gravel.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water — I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.

— Tallulah Bankhead

No man worth his salt, no man of spirit and spine, no man for whom I could have any respect, could rejoice in the identification of Tallulah's husband. It's tough enough to be bogged down in a legend. It would be even tougher to marry one.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

— Tallulah Bankhead

It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work — the night watchman.

— Tallulah Bankhead

The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

— Tallulah Bankhead

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

— Tallulah Bankhead

Here's a rule I recommend. Never practice two vices at once.

— Tallulah Bankhead

If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.

— Tallulah Bankhead

Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, "I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right."

— Tallulah Bankhead

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know — I've been using it for years.

— Tallulah Bankhead

There's less in this than meets the eye.

— Tallulah Bankhead

Codeine...bourbon...

— Tallulah Bankhead

My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I've tried several varieties of sex. Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw, and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

— Tallulah Bankhead

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.

— Tallulah Bankhead

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

— Tallulah Bankhead

The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.

— Tallulah Bankhead

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

— Tallulah Bankhead

(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.

— Tallulah Bankhead