Ryan North

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. —You (also, Martin Luther King Jr.)

— Ryan North

Man, staying at home is for chumps! You could shake the man's hand! YOU COULD TOTALLY SMOOCH HIM MAYBE.maybe not but still!

— Ryan North

I collect power supplies like other men collect meaningful relationships! THAT IS TO SAY, AT THE RATE OF ABOUT ONE A YEAR

— Ryan North

If you find you are not understanding my explanation for a joke, hit "F5" on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again.

— Ryan North

I speculate that the genesis of the chicken-joke lies in some situation such as the one illustrated above, but over time the original context of the joke was lost, which left the chicken sadly decontextualized.

— Ryan North

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.

— Ryan North

Good luck distinguishing which sign is the REAL sign when my entire front lawn is covered with thousands of little green signs - each with a different number! Ahahahah! I'll be EVERY address in the whole freakin' township! And what are you gonna do about it? Hopefully, NOTHING!

— Ryan North

Don't worry, it's very clear that the painting was done by a human, most likely a human with one eye removed and a feverent if incorrect understanding of design and anatomy.

— Ryan North

Of course it's easy to get on public transit! It's public transit.

— Ryan North

I saw The Mountain Ghost last night and they were really good but also scary! Actually they are called the Mountain GOATS and do not feature scary g-g-g-ghosts. Luckily.

— Ryan North

I'm totally applying assumed Creative Commons rights.

— Ryan North

I'm suddenly worried people will think that I believe their religion can be summed up on four sex-obsessed sentences.

— Ryan North

You're supposed to whore yourself out! Nobody will judge you! ACTUALLY EVERYONE WILL JUDGE YOU THAT'S HOW THE SYSTEM WORKS

— Ryan North

We're all already aware of boobies; it is the general state of most people in North America! THANKS, MEDIA AND THE MALE GAZE

— Ryan North