Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Speak of the moderns without contempt, and of the ancients without idolatry.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket: and do not pull it out and strike it; merely to show that you have one.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Sacrifice to the Graces.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

In my mind, there is nothing so illiberal and so ill-bred, as audible laughter.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

I am sure that since I have had the full use of my reason, nobody has ever heard me laugh.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

The characteristic of a well-bred man is, to converse with his inferiors without insolence, and with his superiors with respect and with ease.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Manners must adorn knowledge, and smooth its way through the world. Like a great rough diamond, it may do very well in a closet by way of curiosity, and also for its intrinsic value.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Women who are either indisputably beautiful, or indisputably ugly, are best flattered upon the score of their understandings; but those who are in a state of mediocrity are best flattered upon their beauty, or at least their graces; for every woman who is not absolutely ugly thinks herself handsome.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Little minds mistake little objects for great ones, and lavish away upon the former that time and attention which only the latter deserve. To such mistakes we owe the numerous and frivolous tribe of insect-mongers, shell-mongers, and pursuers and driers of butterflies, etc. The strong mind distinguishes, not only between the useful and the useless, but likewise between the useful and the curious.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

The herd of mankind can hardly be said to think; their notions are almost all adoptive; and, in general, I believe it is better that it should be so; as such common prejudices contribute more to order and quiet, than their own separate reasonings would do, uncultivated and unimproved as they are.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Without some dissimulation no business can be carried on at all.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

I recommend to you, in my last, an innocent piece of art: that of flattering people behind their backs, in presence of those who, to make their own court, much more than for your sake, will not fail to repeat, and even amplify, the praise to the party concerned. This is of all flattery the most pleasing, and consequently the most effectual.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Idleness is only the refuge of weak minds.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Abject flattery and indiscriminate assentation degrade, as much as indiscriminate contradiction and noisy debate disgust. But a modest assertion of one’s own opinion, and a complaisant acquiescence in other people’s, preserve dignity.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Style is the dress of thoughts.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Women are much more like each other than men: they have, in truth, but two passions, vanity and love; these are their universal characteristics.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till to-morrow what you can do to-day.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Dispatch is the soul of business.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

I wish to God that you had as much pleasure in following my advice, as I have in giving it to you.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Knowledge may give weight, but accomplishments give luster, and many more people see than weigh.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Let blockheads read what blockheads wrote.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

To have frequent recourse to narrative betrays great want of imagination.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Knowledge of the world in only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

The manner is often as important as the matter, sometimes more so.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

You had better refuse a favor gracefully, than to grant it clumsily. Manner is all, in everything: it is by manner only that you can please, and consequently rise. All your Greek will never advance you from secretary to envoy, or from envoy to ambassador; but your address, your manner, your air, if good, very probably may.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

It is commonly said, and more particularly by Lord Shaftesbury, that ridicule is the best test of truth.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Let dull critics feed upon the carcasses of plays; give me the taste and the dressing.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Every woman is infallibly to be gained by every sort of flattery, and every man by one sort or other.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

It is a great advantage for any man to be able to talk or hear, neither ignorantly nor absurdly, upon any subject; for I have known people, who have not said one word, hear ignorantly and absurdly; it has appeared by their inattentive and unmeaning faces.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

A proper secrecy is the only mystery of able men; mystery is the only secrecy of weak and cunning ones.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

There are some occasions in which a man must tell half his secret, in order to conceal the rest; but there is seldom one in which a man should tell all. Great skill is necessary to know how far to go, and where to stop.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

The reputation of generosity is to be purchased pretty cheap; it does not depend so much upon a man’s general expense, as it does upon his giving handsomely where it is proper to give at all. A man, for instance, who should give a servant four shillings, would pass for covetous, while he who gave him a crown, would be reckoned generous; so that the difference of those two opposite characters, turns upon one shilling.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

People will no more advance their civility to a bear, than their money to a bankrupt.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Let this be one invariable rule of your conduct—never to show the least symptom of resentment, which you cannot, to a certain degree, gratify; but always to smile, where you cannot strike.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Our conjectures pass upon us for truths; we will know what we do not know, and often, what we cannot know: so mortifying to our pride is the base suspicion of ignorance.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

In short, let it be your maxim through life, to know all you can know, yourself; and never to trust implicitly to the informations of others.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in. One yawns, one procrastinates, one can do it when one will, and therefore one seldom does it at all.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

To have frequent recourse to narrative betrays great want of imagination.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Regularity in the hours of rising and retiring, perseverance in exercise, adaptation of dress to the variations of climate, simple and nutritious aliment, and temperance in all things are necessary branches of the regimen of health.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Learning is acquired by reading books, but the much more necessary learning, the knowledge of the world, is only to be acquired by reading men, and studying all the various facets of them.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket: and do not merely pull it out and strike it; merely to show that you have one.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Knowledge may give weight, but accomplishments give luster, and many more people see than weigh.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Men, as well as women, are much oftener led by their hearts than by their understandings.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Never seem more learned than the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to count the hours, but give the time when you are asked.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Patience is the most necessary quality for business, many a man would rather you heard his story than grant his request.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

The chapter of knowledge is a very short, but the chapter of accidents is a very long one.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

I assisted at the birth of that most significant word "flirtation," which dropped from the most beautiful mouth in the world.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Unlike my subject will I frame my song, It shall be witty, and it shan't be long.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

At twelve you may walk, for at this time o' the year, Take the hint, and let life be improv'd in its prime.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Cheerful with wisdom, with innocence gay, Those tears of the sky for the loss of the sun.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Then in chat, or at play, with a dance, or a song, And those you may end, when you please to be kind.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Religion is by no means a proper subject of conversation in a mixed company.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Tyrawley and I have been dead these two years; but we don't choose to have it known.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Marriage is the cure of love, and friendship the cure of marriage.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

The nation looked upon him as a deserter, and he shrunk into insignificancy and an earldom.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

He adorned whatever subject he either spoke or wrote upon, by the most splendid eloquence.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Whoever incites anger has a strong insurance against indifference.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

There is time enough for everything, in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once; but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a time.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

I really know nothing more criminal, more mean, and more ridiculous than lying. It is the production either of malice, cowardice, or vanity; and generally misses of its aim in every one of these views; for lies are always detected, sooner or later.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world in.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

The world is a country which nobody ever yet knew by description; one must travel through it one's self to be acquainted with it.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Do as you would be done by, is the surest method of pleasing.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Take the tone of the company you are in.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

I knew once a very covetous, sordid fellow, who used to say, "Take care of the pence, for the pounds will take care of themselves."

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

The young leading the young, is like the blind leading the blind; “they will both fall into the ditch.”

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

I recommend you to take care of the minutes: for hours will take care of themselves.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Patience, to hear frivolous, impertinent, and unreasonable applications: with address enough to refuse, without offending; or, by your manner of granting, to double the obligation: dexterity enough to conceal a truth, without telling a lie: sagacity enough to read other people’s countenances: and serenity enough not to let them discover anything by yours; a seeming frankness, with a real reserve. These are the rudiments of a politician; the world must be your grammar.

— Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield