Marty Feldman

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

— Marty Feldman

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.

— Marty Feldman

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

— Marty Feldman

I feel about Keaton the way an organist thinks of Bach.

— Marty Feldman

I carry Keaton's photo around with me to remind me what happened to him. If the Hollywood system can destroy him it can destroy me.

— Marty Feldman

When I quoted Bulwer Lytton's "The pen is mightier than the sword" to Marty Feldman he added reflectively, "Yes, and considerably easier to write with."

— Marty Feldman

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

— Marty Feldman