stage actor, film actor, television actor, voice actor, writer, screenwriter
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than "survival of the fittest." I think a better idea would be "survival of the wittiest." At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.
All my life, I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.
If I had known what it would be like to have it all... I might have been willing to settle for less.
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.
Your problem is your role models were models.
I swear people don't want sex so much as they want somebody who'll listen to 'em … the first thing you learn after fellatio is how to listen.
Remember we're all in this alone.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Remember we're all in this alone.
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
We're all in this alone.
You don't really need to get married, but marriage is awfully nice. Everybody I know who got married, they say it really makes a difference. They feel very, very happy about it.
Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.
And that's the truth!
I've seen these women all my life, I know how they walk, I know how they talk...
Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
What if it's boring... or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves… I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
If you can't be direct, why be?
Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
I think my politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
When you talk about yourself for 35 years, first of all, it gets repetitious. And then it seems a little bit excessive, at the least.
People think there's some real subversive thing playing against whoever it is; a lot of it is just people who want to go along and get along. And they also want to make money. And the bottom line is, they're going to put out as much stuff as they can — stupid, banal stuff that makes money.
The larger picture is really to swing people's awareness of what really is moral. ... There are great clergy-people who absolutely do not agree with this. It's not whether God is on our side or whether we're doing God's will, it's being so narcissistic as to think that God is telling you what to do.
I respect her talent and her brain and who she is as a person — and that kind of admiration and respect is a big factor in binding someone in a relationship. I know what a good heart she has, and how empathetic she is with all kinds of people and issues — she's so brilliant on top of it that she can voice these things. And she's as funny as she can possibly be. She makes me laugh.
Some journalists are just motivated by their own sense of what they want to say or what they feel comfortable saying or writing about. In '77, I was on the cover of Time. The same week I had a big story in Newsweek. In one of the magazines it says I live alone, and the other magazine said I live with Jane Wagner. Unless you were so really adamantly out, and had made some declaration at some press conference, people back then didn't write about your relationship.
Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
For fast acting relief, try slowing down.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
If the formula for water is HO squared?
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
The best mind-altering drug is truth.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying — but when God talks to us, we're said to be schizophrenic?
Interviewer: You once said you had a drug problem... Lily: Yeah, I still do. It's so hard to find good grass these days.
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it....
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading.
It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.