John Kennedy Toole

Is it the part of the police department to harass me when this city is a flagrant vice capital of the civilized world?" Ignatius bellowed over the crowd in front of the store. "This city is famous for its gamblers, prostitutes, exhibitionists, anti-Christs, alcoholics, sodomites, drug addicts, fetishists, onanists, pornographers, frauds, jades, litterbugs, and lesbians, all of whom are only too well protected by graft.

— John Kennedy Toole

With the breakdown of the Medieval system, the gods of Chaos, Lunacy, and Bad Taste gained ascendancy.

— John Kennedy Toole

When Fortuna spins you downward, go out to a movie and get more out of life.

— John Kennedy Toole

The human desire for food and sex is relatively equal. If there are armed rapes, why should there not be armed hot dog thefts?

— John Kennedy Toole

You can always tell employees of the government by the total vacancy which occupies the space where most other people have faces.

— John Kennedy Toole