J. P. Donleavy

When you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both it's health, you worry about getting rupture or something. If everything is simply jake then you're frightened of death.

— J. P. Donleavy

All I wantMy neck.

— J. P. Donleavy

Rid the mind of knowledge when looking for pleasure. Or start thinking and find a lot of pain.

— J. P. Donleavy

I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.

— J. P. Donleavy

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

— J. P. Donleavy

On Being Old. It's not nice but take comfort that you won't stay that way for ever.

— J. P. Donleavy

The inhabitants will always see both sides of an argument so long as it can result in a fight.

— J. P. Donleavy