Howard Stern

I wanted to go hide. I wasn't looking to be more famous, I'm famous enough.

— Howard Stern

Whenever I say something, I say it right at the moment I'm thinking it. As soon as I saw Magic Johnson's press conference, I said, "Hey, this is bullshit. Why are you idolizing a guy who runs around and is a tremendous womanizer? He's running around having unprotected sex in a day and age when he should know better. I don't think you should treat him as a hero.

— Howard Stern

I cut my pubes last night. My hairs were getting longer than my penis.

— Howard Stern

Courage is standing up for what you believe in. There are so many people who aren't willing to stand up. You've got to fight.

— Howard Stern

What's wrong with being naked? I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I pay my taxes. I'm a good man. I'm a good father - try to be, anyway. I try to do the right things in life.

— Howard Stern

And if you really want to tame that region (Iraq), I'll tell you what can solve the problem: pussy. Plain and simple. Give 'em strip clubs and whores. Nobody would want to fly a fucking plane into anything. Nobody would want to kill anybody. The problem is, these guys can't even see a woman's ankle. You know what? They just want pussy. They want good porno. They want to beat off. They want Howard Stern.

— Howard Stern

I still feel like I gotta prove something. … There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that. I need to be hated.

— Howard Stern

I'm in a war, a cultural war.

— Howard Stern

Really, why am I doing this anymore? It makes me crazy. I hate getting up early in the morning, and I don't particularly like doing the show.

— Howard Stern

I think it's my identity. Like, this is who I am. This is what I do.... Like I'm Babe Ruth, you know?

— Howard Stern

It occurred to me that to have a naked woman on the radio would be outrageous. And yet really who would it offend? It's all theater of the mind. You don't even really know if she's naked or not.

— Howard Stern

Jay [Leno] is insane. He's not fit to scrub David Letterman's feet. Yes, I don't know why he's beaten David Letterman in the ratings. It's beyond my comprehension. America must be filled with morons who at night lay in bed -- the ones who are watching him. They must be in a coma.

— Howard Stern