Helen Rowland

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

— Helen Rowland

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

— Helen Rowland

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

— Helen Rowland

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

— Helen Rowland

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

— Helen Rowland

One man's folly is another man's wife.

— Helen Rowland

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.

— Helen Rowland

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

— Helen Rowland

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

— Helen Rowland

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

— Helen Rowland

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

— Helen Rowland

You will never win if you never begin.

— Helen Rowland

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

— Helen Rowland

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

— Helen Rowland

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

— Helen Rowland

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

— Helen Rowland

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son—and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

— Helen Rowland

What a man calls his "conscience" is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

— Helen Rowland

Oh yes, there is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

— Helen Rowland

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

— Helen Rowland

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

— Helen Rowland

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

— Helen Rowland

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her—when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?

— Helen Rowland

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are "made in America".

— Helen Rowland

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

— Helen Rowland

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

— Helen Rowland

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

— Helen Rowland

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one.

— Helen Rowland

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

— Helen Rowland

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

— Helen Rowland

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

— Helen Rowland

One man's folly is another man's wife.

— Helen Rowland

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

— Helen Rowland

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

— Helen Rowland

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

— Helen Rowland

You will never win if you never begin.

— Helen Rowland