Bob Saget

Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! "Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house--" and, cut! "Cock shit fuck!"

— Bob Saget

People ask me what my favorite episode of Full House is; it was the last one!

— Bob Saget

This woman woke up to see me and John Stamos banging on her windows. She must have thought she died and went to sitcom hell.

— Bob Saget

If you laugh at that, you lower the bar, and I will limbo under it because I am a fucked-up guy!

— Bob Saget

Kids, do not fuck that shit; you'll get an infection.

— Bob Saget

That would be a good public service announcement for Nickelodeon: "Hi, this is Bob Saget. Don't fuck that shit. Stay in school. And read!"

— Bob Saget

I don't call her my middle child, I call her my center child, Because the world revolves around her.

— Bob Saget

I've banged half the girls in this room, and that is fuckin' not true. I haven't banged anyone here. I've put my pinky in your butts, couple of you.

— Bob Saget