Alan Ayckbourn

Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.

— Alan Ayckbourn

There are very few people on top of life, and the rest of us don't like them very much.

— Alan Ayckbourn

A comedy is just a tragedy interrupted, I once said. Do you finish with the kiss or when she opens her eyes to tell him she loves him and sees blonde hairs on his collar?

— Alan Ayckbourn

The darker the subject, the more light you must try to shed on the matter. And vice versa.

— Alan Ayckbourn

They've started this filthy floodlit cricket with cricketers wearing tin hats and advertisements for contraceptives on their boots.

— Alan Ayckbourn